Friday, June 23, 2006

idea for a novella:
Written in the fifth person, the work ironically stars only 4 people who all died at the same moment on different continents and arrived in Heaven together at the same time. God was drunk and he spliced their personalities together (something he has never done before; but when you're omnipotent and inebriated... you could do just about anything - no, actually anything) anyway, these four people who are now one dead person in heaven spend months queuing in the heaven complaints department waiting for their complaint to be processed, waiting for the hearing etc. (the queues are so long because heaven - containing only good things - is distinctly boring and the human spirit (though disembodied) NEEDS something bad to complain about; moreover, something to complain about with other humans and seek solidarity through. The novella follows the ins and outs of four elements of this ghost-splicee, how they interact, what they think of each other, how they confuse parts of themselves with each other and vice verse, how they get on and realise that all humans have a quintessence that is profoundly similar, how they discuss Mozart, how they become so interwoven that they don't know which part is which and eventually decide that they were probably just one person all along and no splicing ever occured (though by this time they are right near the front of the queue and so they decide to lodge a complaint anyway: the water in the plentiful drinking fountains dotted about heaven is one centigrade too hot. Despite the fact that this is untrue, they decide on it anyway, and by the time they get the front of the queue, they all believe that it is actually true and have forgotten that they made it up; needless to say they are all outraged, or should i say s/he/it is outraged.

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